I am going to explore some reasons why our children might lie and why it is important for you to recognize when you find yourself feeling betrayed or angry or frustrated when it happens.

As parents, we know our children on the spectrum face unique challenges in communication, social understanding, and problem-solving skills.

Lying becomes an easier way out for them because it allows them to navigate situations that feel overwhelming or confusing.

Most often, kids lie to avoid trouble. If they don’t have another way out, and because our kids often have challenges with forward-thinking and their executive functioning skills are lacking, rather than suffer the consequences, they lie to avoid getting into trouble.

They don’t have the skill set necessary to deal with a problem or conflict or problem solve. Sometimes it’s the only way they know how to solve a problem.

Reinforce the understanding that lying will not change the situation.

So to them, it’s a survival skill, albeit a faulty one.

Talk about the consequences of lying and how it can impact trust in relationships. Reinforce the importance of honesty and set clear expectations moving forward. Lying is a problem–solving issue. Lying is a lack of skills issue and an avoiding consequences issue.

Your children lying is not a result of your failed parenting. Your child isn't lying to hurt you. Your kids are not broken and you are not a terrible parent.

This journey isn’t easy.

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