276. When Your Child Is Afraid to Get It Wrong: Understanding Performance Anxiety

Your child knows the answer but won’t say it. They’ve completed the task before, but suddenly insist, “I can’t.” They refuse to begin, ask you to do it for them, or fall apart when someone is watching. 

It may look like defiance, laziness, or a lack of effort. But sometimes your child isn’t refusing because they don’t want to try. They’re afraid they’ll get it wrong.

In this episode, Shannon explains how performance anxiety can show up in autistic children, teens, and adults—and why being watched, timed, corrected, or asked to perform in a different setting can make it harder for your child to access a skill they already have.

You’ll learn how to respond without increasing the pressure, make a task smaller and clearer, support your child without doing everything for them, and help them discover that mistakes are part of learning—not proof that they have failed.

Shannon also shares questions to ask the school, possible supports to consider, and one practical way to look differently at a task your child regularly avoids.