274. Impulsive or Oppositional? Why Knowing Better Doesn't Always Mean Doing Better

Your child knows the rule. You’ve explained it, practiced it, reminded them—and they may even be able to tell you exactly what they’re supposed to do. So why do they keep doing the thing they KNOW they shouldn’t? 

It’s easy to assume they’re being defiant, refusing to listen, or deliberately pushing back. But knowing what to do and being able to access that information quickly enough to stop an impulse are two very different skills.

In this episode, Shannon talks about why impulsivity in autistic children can look a lot like opposition, and why the difference matters. She shares a memorable story from Jordan’s childhood, explains how executive functioning, processing, regulation, and impulse control can affect behavior in real time, and gives you practical questions to ask before deciding your child is simply choosing not to listen.

You’ll also hear why understanding what’s driving a behavior does not mean excusing it or removing boundaries and expectations. Instead, it helps you figure out what your child may actually need to learn, practice, or be supported with.

If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “But they KNOW better!” this episode will help you look at those frustrating moments differently—and ask one important question:

They may know better...but can they USE what they know in this moment?

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