The Unexpected Joy of Real-Life Friendships in an Online World

This past weekend, I packed up my car and set out on a 7 ½ hour drive to a beautiful lake house in Littleton, North Carolina. I was heading to meet two incredible women, Blair and Pammie, who are part of our Not Your Average Autism Mom (NYAAM) membership. Blair is a founding member since October 2020, and we first met once in person just last October.

Blair and Pam have developed a really close friendship and have been meeting for lunch once a month half the distance from their homes this year!  Pammie joined us in February 2022, and though we’ve connected countless times online, this weekend was the first time she and I would meet face-to-face.  Pammie drove 3 ½ hours herself, a testament to the commitment and connection that NYAAM fosters.

It was everything I expected and more!

It’s moments like these that remind me of something so important: anyone who dismisses the idea of real relationships forming online just hasn’t given it a fair try.

When we arrived at Blair’s gorgeous lake house, it felt like coming home. It wasn’t awkward or strange—just the opposite. It was like reconnecting with old friends, even though we had technically only met in person once or, in Pammie’s case, not at all. We spent the weekend talking, laughing, sharing our stories—the good, the bad, and the ugly. We discussed hard things, the kind of things you can only share with someone who truly understands the rollercoaster that is autism parenting. There were tears, both from laughter and from the love and understanding that flowed so freely between us.

What struck me most about this weekend was how natural it all felt. Blair opened her home to us without hesitation, and we were welcomed into her family’s life like we had been friends for decades. We spent a day shopping in the cutest little town, discovering each other’s tastes in décor and fashion, and bonding over our shared love of all things beautiful and meaningful. We enjoyed time on the lake, soaking in the peacefulness of the water and watching the sunset together, thanking God for the relationships we didn’t even realize we were missing before we met.

This experience reinforced something I’ve always known deep down: NYAAM is so much more than a “mom group”. It’s a place where real, lasting friendships are built around our shared experiences as moms raising autistic children. We know each other.  We know each others families and the different dynamics each of us possess.  These friendships start online, where we find each other in a sea of isolation and loneliness. But when we take that extra step—when we’re willing to get out of our comfort zones—they become something truly special.

In the past year alone, I’ve been blessed to meet several of our Georgia members in person, strengthening bonds that started online. I spent time with Priya, who has been with us as a founding member in October 2020 too. We shared stories, laughter, and that unspoken understanding that only comes from being on this unique journey together. I also had the joy of welcoming Jennifer Hill-Baker into my home for weekend trips from South Carolina to the North Georgia mountains—twice! We spent those weekends talking about everything under the sun, deepening a friendship that had already developed online. And then there was Megan, who became a member after we first met in December 2023. Each of these meetings reminded me that NYAAM is about so much more than just connecting online—it’s about building real-life relationships that have the power to change our lives.

The weekend reminded me of the importance of connection, not just for our mental health but for sustaining us on this difficult journey of autism parenting. It’s easy to feel alone, to sit back and watch from the sidelines, but that’s not where the magic happens. The magic happens when you engage, when you reach out, when you take a chance on finding your people.

If you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone, share your struggles and your successes and get to know each other, your life can change in the best possible way.

As I drove home, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude—not just for the weekend we had shared, but for the entire NYAAM community and everything it has become and continues to grow and evolve. I had to heal myself along the way and once I did that, I knew I wanted to share it with other moms because I learned what they need to sustain it.  This isn’t just a business for me; it’s a mission, a calling to bring people together who understand what it’s like to walk this path and together we are changing the narrative of raising autistic children.

NYAAM is so much more than just navigating the challenges of autism parenting. It’s about finding others to share life with, building real-life relationships that start online but grow into something beautiful and lasting.

This October, I’ll be hitting the road again, this time on a cross-country trip with my best friend. We plan to stop and visit as many of our NYAAM members as we can along the way. I can’t wait to hug you, to share stories, and to deepen the bonds that started online but have the potential to last a lifetime.

So, if you’re feeling isolated and alone, I encourage you to make it a priority to find your people. If you’re already a Not Your Average Autism Mom, reach out, share your stories with us in our village and don’t be afraid to take that first step. And if you’re not a member yet, we invite you to get all the details on our website at www.NotYourAverageAutismMom.com

The relationships you’ll build are real, and they have the power to change your life in ways you never imagined. NYAAM is more than just a community of moms traveling a parenting journey we didn’t plan for—it’s a place where we’re building relationships that will carry us from online friends to lifelong friends through this journey and beyond.

And I can promise you, it’s worth every mile.

This was written by Shannon Urquiola, Not Your Average Autism Mom